Real Breck Dew(sh) Tour Results

slideshow by Zak Shelhamer

Ok, we have a secret. Our “exclusive coverage” was totally made up. Shaun White wasn’t even there, much less skateboarding in the Superpipe. But that’s really the only way to get anything “exclusive” in this internet day and age, isn’t it? And since Totino’s didn’t pay to send me out there, (Alli does pay Nick to be there, but they also expect him to do their coverage because of that, and he’s not a big multi-tasker) I’m covering it in my pajamas, from my couch. And by covering it, I mean, posting a few random thoughts and the results.

1. How stoked are all the tier-two pipe riders who actually had a shot at the podium since the Olympic heavy hitters weren’t riding? Other people are good at snowboarding too, Shaun and Louie are just, better. But… at least some people landed runs at this contest.

2. Somehow, I think Danny Davis and Mason Aguirre don’t need to fight over Totino’s pizza. I can’t say for sure, but I am willing to bet they both get enormous boxes of them every month with their giant checks.

3. God, 16 year olds are good at snowboarding. Too good. Start drinking already.

4. Someday, when more than one girl lands a slopestyle run, that will be cool. They even got airtime and got to ride before the light got shitty and flat, so can’t use the usual excuses. Jamie Anderson is good though.

5. Double corks look better off big jumps than in the pipe.

6. Texting complaints to Todd while he is announcing almost makes up for the fact it rained and I watched TV instead of going snowboarding today.


Men’s Superpipe

1 Danny Davis 96.50
2 Iouri Podlachikov 91.25
3 JJ Thomas 84.75
4 Mason Aguirre 80.00
5 Steve Fisher 78.50
6 Zachary Black 75.00
7 Ilkka-Eemeli Laari 71.00
8 Fredrik Austbo 68.50
9 Roger Kleivdal 64.50
10 Janne Korpi 62.00
11 Matt Ladley 56.50
12 Scotty Lago 49.00

Women’s Superpipe

1 Queralt Castellet 92.50
2 Sarah Conrad 89.00
3 Kjersti Østgaard Buaas 87.00
4 Kelly Marren 84.00
5 Elena Hight 83.75
6 Kaitlyn Farrington 80.25

Men’s Slopestyle

1 Tyler Flanagan 93.00
2 Sage Kotsenburg 90.00
3 Eric Willett 87.50
4 Torstein Horgmo 86.00
5 Halldór Helgason 85.50
6 Brandon Reis 83.75
7 Charles Guldemond 74.25
8 Sam Hulbert 62.50
9 Mikkel Bang 56.00
10 Scotty Lago 53.50
11 Heikki Sorsa 50.75
12 Stef Zeestraten 41.75

Women’s Slopestyle

1 Jamie Anderson 92.00
2 Sarka Panc 80.25
3 Jenny Jones 67.50
4 Spencer O’Brien 42.75
5 Janna Meyen-Weatherby 40.75
6 Shelly Gotlieb 38.00

If you are actually interested in hear about how “great” the Winter Dew Tour was, go read Nick’s stories on the Alli site. Maybe they will give him a raise.

  1. Blake Geis

    the title on this was simply amazing

  2. Hahah I like your write up WAY better then mine. for reals.

  3. hater hater

    what I learned from dew tour:
    – dc got way cooler since they dropped chuck g, now he finally has support that fits his athletic style, underarmor and rockstar boards
    – girls still need a different takeoff than the guys to be able to land their runs
    – double corks will soon be impossible due to totinos pizza marketing making every snowboarder more unhealthy than they already are
    – luke matrani is on volcom, and zack hale is on burton
    – hekki sorsa needs to quit the contest scene already. his style is not consistant enough to hang with the young guns
    – todd richards really likes omatic team rider eric willet, and mikkel bang bonking toyota advertising

  4. bob

    now i feel so violated.

    dear hater hater, you’re fucking tool. i bet you rollerblade.

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