You may not know, but Nick Lipton has a big boy job in the big city of Chicago. Sadly, long hours and no car or shred buddies have prevented him from actually snowboarding since moving there in fall 2010. But this week, Lipton is back in Oregon for a shred odyssey, and we kicked things off right, at Ski Bowl. Here’s how it all went down.
4:38 am Calls me drunk to tell me he doesn’t have boots or bindings.
5:22 Texts to say he is officially missing 3/4 of the required gear to snowboard.
9 sound asleep
10 sound asleep
10:36 sound asleep
10:45 Finally wakes up on the floor of his parent’s living room in a Ninja Suit. Juno dvd menu still playing. Decides on night riding.
10:50 Starts getting ready to come over.
11:30 Tests out the Ninja Suit poop flap. Decides it pinches a little.
12:09 Finds boots.
1:20 Shows up at my house, dressed in snowboard gear, Austin Will in tow.
1:56 Austin accuses Nick of pulling a major Jarad Hadi. Nick disagrees.
2:01 Announces in genuine disgust, “you know what makes me wanna drive, hamsters driving,” in regards to the Kia commercial on TV.
2:09 New board finally set up.
2:16 On the road.
2:21 Stops for gas. Go inside to see if “any of his work is in the convenience store.”
2:34 Realizes he is afraid of trees.
3:05 Joe’s Donut stop.
3:13 Buys Sno Park permit. Has immediate buyer regret for getting the day pass, not the annual one for $25.
4:03 Debates turning around to go home. Starts dreading putting on boots.
4:13 Arrives at Ski Bowl.
4:19 Has been complaining about putting on boots for six minutes. Determines snowboarding is gay.
4:30 Buys a ticket. Has trouble affixing it.
4:32 Preps for stunting. Wonders why people need edges.
4:40 Maybe on the lift.
4:41 Realizes he forgot his gloves in the rental stop.
4:42 Sees bunny. Decides it’s all worth it.
4:53 First run complete.
5:28 Successfully negotiates his first rail.
5:40 Makes thug gesture and announces, “still got it,”
Filmed exclusively with my iPhone
5:55 Decides he and Austin are probably the best people on the mountain.
6:10 Realizes it’s only 6:10.
6:12 I tell him the high back of his Rome lady bindings is broken. He decides that’s why he’s probably not riding as well as he should be.
6:23 Claims back 3.
6:40 Proclaims this is the longest he’s gone without a drink since 2008.
7:55 Realizes he doesn’t have pants.
8:17 Wants wants to keep boarding. Is out voted.
8:26 Is really upset no one else wants to go hit the black diamond, but settles for margaritas instead.
8:30 Claims “only invert of the day” for his rag doll over a boulder.
9:13 Hits the breaks in front of Full Moon bar and grill (a strip club.) Suggests it may also have food.
9:19 Stops at McDonalds for a tide me over.
10:15 Asks “why would any one get the taco when you can get the super taco?”
10:22 Laments the small size of the water glasses at La Carreta
10:42 Discusses his own knuckles for awhile. We lose interest.