Portland Oregon-Based Digital Media

It’s 2011 and with this shaping up to be the best season ever and all, it’s time for some resolutions… so here’s five! Feel free to ignore them, or if you wanna be as cool as us (hack, gag) then you should follow this amazingly good example we’re setting and attempt to emulate them.

1. Stop the Ski Hate

If you’ve been reading this site (or really any snowboard publication) for any amount of time, you’ll know how difficult this is going to be. Not only was hating on skiing ingrained in us by skiers themselves from the day we first strapped on that snowboard back in the 90s, but it’s so much fun. Just check the incredibly hilarious comments on any of these past ski hate flame bait pieces we’ve posted. It’s like they do the work for you! But it’s a new year, a new decade, and perhaps even time to bury the hatchet once and for all, so we’re going to try our hardest this year to avoid the traffic trap that is ski hate. I mean, look at the dudes in this “Ankle Deep” video, which we (mainly) didn’t post because of skiing. They’re just having fun bro, isn’t that what it’s all about? But, that said…

…based on the above video, we still do not believe skiers should be allowed to hit rails.

2. Don’t duck ropes

Jan Eberharter and his friends are total rebels (see :39). Don’t be like them.

Being a rule-disobeying badass when you snowboard is part of the reason snowboarding is so fun, for me at least. One of the main reasons I got into it to long ago is because as a defiant teen with skier parents, it was cool and rebellious (no seriously, it used to be!), but this year, things have gotten serious. It might just be more apparent because Boardistan insists on reporting on every snowboard death, but snowboarding is especially dangerous this season. This is putting ski areas on especially high alert, and it seems they will clip your pass for even the most minor infraction. Since I personally have already lost one pass this year, I’m gonna do my best to stay safe and follow the rules for all of 2011 and encourage the rest of the jerks who work for me to do the same. 2012… well, the world is gonna end so no reason to be a pussy then.

3. Wear a Helmet

A recent repost of a completely innocent piece written in 1999 somehow turned into a 60-comment helmet debate. And while we never expect to convince a-man that wearing a helmet is actually warm, comfortable and functional, at this point, I personally have already lost too many brain cells not to. (It’s also a good zone for Yobeat branding!)

4. Drink More

Actually, I think we (especially Party Time Nate) drink enough. It’s just funny to make this resolution every year.

5. Be nicer to Nick Lipton

Nick Lipton: the intern years

Sometimes I try to remember what life was like before I met Nick Lipton in the Mt. Hood Meadows terrain park and asked if he could intern for me. I can’t, mostly because of all those brain cells lost after years of not wearing a helmet, but anyway, the little guy, as annoying as he is, was the number one motivator behind YoBeat being a “real thing” now. He went and got himself a real job at Chicago’s most powerful (junior) ad exec last fall, and admittedly I have been giving him a lot of shit about the half-assed job he’s been doing for Yobeat lately. I still contend he is doing a half-assed job, but this year, I’m going to try out this empathy thing and believe that maybe, just maybe, he actually is as busy as he says (unlike when he complained constantly during college.) However, this will be the hardest one of all.

Snowboarding is fun. I mean, it kinda of goes without saying, but when you’ve been doing it for a long time, sometimes you can forget. The past few seasons I’ve admittedly been a bit snobby about things such as the conditions, which will happen when you live somewhere it gets really good (and also really bad). But this season, the magic is back. I’ve already ridden more times this year than last, and I actually have passes to multiple resorts. Well, I HAD passes, I should say.

The unintended consequence of my refound love for snowboarding is I’ve completely reverted back to my 16-year-old self. This means, I am “trying” and actually putting effort into “getting some” again. Apparently though, even when you’re almost 30 and attempt to use rational and logic to get out of it, you will still get your pass pulled for cutting a rope. As you can see from the photo above (taken on the fateful run), it was worth it, but I am currently on a two-week time out permanent suspension from Mt. Hood Meadows.

Technically, the bottom of Heather Canyon was open yesterday, which means the lift was running, the mitigating factor in if you can ride one of the best/steepest sections of the mountain. I happened to be following a few uber locals, and while we were all keenly aware of the potentially pass-losing consequences, ducking in a bit above the one open gate definitely yielded turns that were somewhat epic. If everyone else hadn’t been cutting in early as well, the ski patrol may not have set up a sting operation at the bottom, but you know, that’ll happen when no one wants to follow the rules. Jerks (the people cutting the ropes, not the ski patrol who were JUST DOING THEIR JOBS). As I popped out of the sticky cat track I heard the fateful “What do you think you’re doing,” and soon was freed of the excessive weight of one of my seasons passes.

Since they are were nice enough to give me a media pass, I decided I would attend the “skier education course” they want you to take before they give you your pass back. It also helped that one of the other idiots I was with got his taken as well, so my other option was sitting in the lodge and waiting. The course went something like this: watch a 30-minute scare video about ski safety ala the ones they show you about drunk driving in driver’s ed. Review the agreement we signed (but no one has ever read) when we got our passes, and finally a fun q and a where the other people tried to blame the mountain for it being “confusing” etc. We were then informed to get our passes back, we’d have to educate 5 other people  and get them to sign a piece of paper saying we did, and bring it back in two weeks. I asked if I could do my educating via twitter, but apparently that is not enough of a waste of time, so they said no.

I felt like I was back at Pico, sitting the office getting yelled at for ducking under the rope for the little river bed section that was next to the Golden Express, and I must say, I kinda liked it. I guess I’ll just have to make due with Bachelor for the next two days and then Ski Bowl until the 23rd for the rest of the season. Shucks.

Disclaimer: Heather Meadows has avalanches. You should not duck the rope and go in there, even though I survived and it made for a funny story.