Who Will Fund Snowboarding?

Not so long ago, professional snowboarders got paid in real money.  We’re talking enough money to travel around the world, pay a mortgage, keep their snowmobile tank filled with gas, pay for a hotels in upscale resort towns, go on lavish surf vacations in the off season, and maybe even put a little in the bank to cover them when an injury or poor decision caused them to be out of a job. There are still a few top pros  raking it in, but thanks to many factors within and beyond the industry’s control, most of people you see in marquee features on sites such as this one, are lucky to get to get free boards and a small travel budget these days. While we’re uninterested in debating the ethicality or fairness of this reality right now, we are here to offer a few suggestions on how to keep the pro shred dream alive without government assistance, energy drinks, crowd funding or ya know, actual snowboard brands.

weed

Not-so-Illicit Drugs. It should come as no surprise that several reputable, long-running snowboard brands were started with drug money. With the legalization of marijuana in full effect on the west coast, there’s never been a better time to use some of that extra green you make growing/selling/trimming green to fund a snowboard career.

ranquetviagra

Big Pharma. Snowboarding is a dangerous activity and one of the side effects of taking calculated risks is injury. For this reason, the pharmaceutical industry has actual incentive to support our love for shred. Pain Killer sponsorship? Yes please! But why stop there? The snowboard population consists of lots of aging males. We can see the Mike Ranquet Viagra campaign now.

wayne-lakers

Lil Wayne already knows. Photo via Quatersnacks

The Rap Industry. Rich white kids helped in making hip hop a viable genre way back when, and now it’s time the rappers give back! Odd Future Snowboards? Could happen.

last-will-testament-13989596

Dead Grandparents. Sure, this is a sad option, but that inheritance may be just what you need to travel the globe racking up FIS points! It’s what Grammy and Gramps would want you to do, really.

SLIM-JIM-BOX-snowboard

Processed meats. The one industry that always knows the worst time to jump into a sport. IE: Slim Jim and rollerblading, circa ’00.

trumpboarding

Donald Trump. That guy obviously has way too much money to waste. And hey, maybe if we got him into snowboarding, he might start caring about climate change and give up on that whole presidential run thing.

koreanggov

The Korean Government. Surely they want people to care about Pyeongchang 2018, so it is in their best interest to provide the snowboard world with sufficient funding that everyone has quad corks on lock by then. Quad corks = ratings!

And of course, there’s always the option of getting an actual job in the off season, but think we can all agree that sounds just plain dumb.

 

  1. uh

    Slim Jim already had ad space in Snowboarder 10 years ago actually

  2. peterfeltersituation

    Once all the corporate companies get over snowboarding its up to snowboarding to support its self. That means Matt Ladley will have no sponsors along with most snowboarders. Hopefully that day comes soon. I didn’t even read the article so maybe my comment makes no sense.

  3. lilwilly

    better to be sponsd by a dispensary than a real snowboard company. Weed has a higher resale value than any snowboard gear!

  4. YEEZUS

    Adidas X Yeezy Boost Snowboard Boots. Shit will fire off the shelves

  5. ohmy

    I just had to look up Matt Ladley because I have never heard that name. Pipe Jock with a shit load of big sponsors. explains everything.

  6. Lil 'bud'dha

    its pretty stupid how so many average pipe jocks rake it in, when how many regular people (or even core snowboarders) actually give a fuck about pipe beyond that one night at x games every year?

  7. dude

    The day corporations leave snowboarding is the day that snowboarding dies. Marketing and Sales will look like shit, quality control will be terrible, and nothing will sponsor contests and festivals. Snowboarder owned businesses will only spit out product every couple of years due to the expenses of research and development.

    Analogy: If everybody starts making cars in their garages, how will the rest of the clueless world have access to cars? Prices for cars will slowly increase due to high demand and low supply.

    Conclusion: removing corporations from snowboarding is only going backwards. You’ll only drive snowboarding back to its beginning where there were only a couple of small companies making 2 boards a day. You have to realize that you’re not the only snowboarder out there. There are millions of people out there who snowboard a couple of times a season. Those guys choose snowboarding over skiing, and cutting off mass production will only hinder those people from experiencing something that we all love. You might think “grassroots” style of an industry would be best, but honestly, it isn’t.

  8. flognaw

    danimals was on jasper dolhpins tumblr holding a “ride” OF board

  9. slurms mckenzie

    what companies were starting with drug money?

  10. slurms mckenzie

    started*

  11. dag

    Dime bag on Tech Nine

  12. Peterfeltersituation

    Snowboard companies are sustainable with out corporate money. Snowboarding will never die and the grass is fully grown, it’s not bringing it back to garages. Matt Ladley just won’t be sponsored anymore. There’s plenty of companies out there surviving w/o corporate money. Way to try and be smart though, that was a good go at it.

  13. wow

    No chance you know what re-sale means. Fucking idiot

  14. Death Spiral

    There used to be a boatload of big contest. Burton, Dew Tour, and X-Games used to have 8 major contests a year, now just 3.

    There used to be a boatload of corporate sponsors (now they are going bankrupt or getting out of snowboarding).

    Burton used to have a big team on multiple brands – now much smaller.

    Shaun White used to bring attention to snowboarding (like it or not).

    People used to buy videos.

    Now the broad majority of up-and-coming snowboarders are rich kids, sponsored by mom-and-dad and US Snowboarding. US Snowboarding only takes rich kids that can pay their way for travel, $2,000-a-week camps, and parent babysitters).

    Snowboarding used to be cool – now skateboarding, surfing, and other extreme sports are just as cool or cooler.

    At some point things bottom out – but money is going to go down for awhile. For all of you parents who think your kids are going to make money off snowboarding – save all of the money spent on their travel, boards, videos, contests, coaches, and camps, and just cut them a check when they are 18 for college or whatever. There is no money in snowboarding, and if that is what you are after, you deserve to get screwed by your quest anyway.

  15. dude

    It’s “way to try TO be smart”. Not “try and be” ;).

    Snowboarding needs corporations. Do you know which sport lost all corporate sponsorships and involvement and now isn’t even recognized as a sport anymore? In Line Skating. 20 years ago, Energy Drink Companies, Athletic Equipment Companies, etc. dumped money into that sport. It was one of the popular events at the X-Games and EVERYONE was wanting to join it.

    Now guess what? All large corporations left, and it’s a “grassroots” industry. People make fun of it, it’s not broadcasted on TV, the best companies see their products on the clearance rack at Big 5, and in line skating is banned at 90% of skateparks.

    Pushing major corporations out is taking the same path as them. If you love snowboarding and if you want to see more snowboarders on the hill, don’t kick corporations out.

    Take a Business Class and Economics Class. You’ll understand.

  16. dude

    how the fuck do you resell weed if you smoked it?

    Hur durr, let me just sell the ashes bruh so I can buy some dank donuts hur hur hur.

  17. JustQuit

    That’s because roller skating is stupid. Not lack of corporations. Snowboarding was cooler when you hated us. You should probably quit now before it’s uncool.

  18. TROOF

    A 22FT. TALL SUPERPIPE SET AT AN 18 DEGREE DOWNHILL PITCH IS AN INCREDIBLY GNARLY THING TO CONQUER YOU KNOW, MUCH LESS BE ABLE TO HAVE THE SKILLS TO COMPETE AGAINST THE OTHERS FOR THAT DOE. JUSS SAYIN’.

  19. TROOF

    COMPETE WITH ONLY YOURSELF IN ORDER TO ACHIEVE YOUR OWN GOALS.

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