#SummerofBrooke: July 4-July 10

Another week has flown by in my attempt at having the best summer ever, and I think I may just pull this off… Here’s the latest.

As you saw in the Comment Con edit, the kids who talk the most shit on Yobeat have very little to back it up with. Snatch flew up from LA, knowing full well he would be embarrassed on the Internet, and I can appreciate that. But just to make sure he didn’t get off too easy (he has been calling me fat and ugly for years) I challenged him to a game of skate.

This fourth of July I had big plans to go to Bend – the destination of choice for the majority of Gov’y’s summer residents. But then on Friday morning I woke up, and remembered something: I hate Bend. Don’t get me wrong, it’s an amazing place, but I live in Portland where there was also plenty of debauchery to be had, and I didn’t even have to drive three hours to get there. So, I succumbed to my first #epicfail and stayed in Portland. Well, technically, I went to Troutdale to Thousand Acres Park, which if you’re into pretty views and shit, is amazing.

With no shortage of BBQ’s in Portland, the hardest part was choosing which mini ramp and crew I most wanted to skate. I settled on the 30-plus skate babe crowd and these dogs kept doing this, causing everyone to whip out their phones for the ‘gram every time. Never gets old.

After a relatively mellow 4th (I didn’t even watch any fireworks) I felt like I needed to redeem myself so I dialed up a skate date via tinder and headed off on an epic skatepark adventure. We started at Gabriel for a little warm up and I luckily, my date actually skated. It’s always a risk you take, but it seems when guys on Tinder claim to skate what they actually mean is, I skated for two years in high school and still have my deck.

Next stop: Scappoose. 40 minutes west of Portland, this park has always been a favorite of mine for its generally “normal” layout and tiny ledges, although it was definitely built long before anyone figured out how to build skateparks. Well, they finally redid it, and damn is it fun. I also asked the Razor Scooter kids about the razor scooter industry and their favorite scooter pros. To my surprise, they had lots.

Clatskanie, WA boasts one of the few covered parks in the Northwest, but that’s about all it’s got going for it. Oh, the locals were nice, too.

Since we were already heading west on route 30, it only made sense to take it all the way to Astoria. And like any good tourist trip, the Goonies house is a must visit. Apparently people actually live in it, and probably just look out the window laughing at all the idiots taking selfies. At least, that’s what I would do.

We skated the Astoria park, which is big, fast and fun and then headed south to Seaside. While most parks in Oregon are built by people who know what’s up, this one was definitely not. But at least they had a motivational poster about wearing your helmet. I need this sort of thing to prevent my 3rd or 4th head trauma (I honestly can’t remember.)

The skatepark at Seaside was a bust, but the beach on the other hand was the perfect place to drink a warm Miller Highlife… And I’m pretty sure that dude is gonna get rich with that metal detector.

On Sunday I went boarding with my Yobeat partner0-in-crime, Jared. He is always inventing new moves such as this Rav-inspired chain tap. Progression, man.

The Nike Snake and Hammers course at Windells may be one of the most fun things to ride your snowboard on at Hood right now. But let’s not talk about how much effort we put in to timing this shot of Ralph Kucharek and Craig Cameron.

This summer, I hired the boys from Shoulda Danished to do our product reviews. Not only can they film, act and rap, but they’re pretty good at snowboarding too. They arrived from Edmonton to boxes and boxes of product and proceeded to cover themselves with it, and our office penis, of course.

It was a hot day, so Will decided to take his shirt off on the way to lunch. He was a little concerned it might be weird, but I assured him, this is America and we are guaranteed to see some weirder shit on 82nd Ave in Portland. Sure enough, we soon came across a calculator taped to a post. Whatever.

Until next week…