Old Gold- The US Open Drinking Game

Original Publication Date: March 2006


For the past 20 or so years, the snowboard community has descended upon Vermont in March for a little contest called the US Open. In its glory days, the contest wasn’t about corporate sponsorship, huge prize purses and network television coverage. It was about seeing friends, pelting Jimi Scott with beer cans and seeing if you could fit enough beers in a backpack at 7 am to last the entire day.

But now, the true spirit of alcoholism at the Open seems lost by people who actually care if they land their back-to-back 1080s and get a spot on the Olympic team. Somewhere, under all those T-mobile logos though, are people who really, really, like to drink. Maybe all they need is some prodding, and nothing has prodded people to drink over the years (or made it as much fun) as drinking games.

To Play: Be over 21 (sorry kids.) Fill your bag with your beverage of choice, then find a place where you can see the contest but don’t have to get through a bag check to get there (good luck!) Then:

-Every time someone talks about how much better the contest used to be, drink.
-Every time someone actually boycotts the contest like they say they’re going to every year, pound a beer.

-Every time some one whines about the contest being at the Sun Bowl, drink.
-Every time some one says they’re stoked it’s at the Sun Bowl, pound a beer.

-Every time the some one complains how cold it is at the night event, drink.
-Every time one of your body parts actually freezes from the cold at the night event, pound a beer.

-Every time the Dingo misnames a rider, drink.
-Every time the other announcer realizes and corrects him before that person’s run is over, pound a beer.

-Every time the weather is crappy for a day of the event, drink.
-Every time the weather magically gets crappier when its time for the girls to go, pound a beer.

-Every time someone poaches the pipe, drink.
-Every time someone poaches the pipe and does something more spectacular than people who are actually in the contest, pound a beer.

-Every time a Teter is riding, drink.
-Every time a Teter wins the event, pound a beer.

-Every time a Japanese rider decks out hard, drink.
-Every time they get up unharmed and ride even better their next run, drink.

-Every time the judging is questionable, drink.
-Every time the rules are mysteriously changed to benefit a title sponsor’s rider, pound a beer.

-Every time a little-known Euro wins, drink.
-Every time someone with local pride who is too bitter to remember said Euro’s name says, “Insert name well known pro here” should have won, pound a beer.

-Every time some one calls Ross Powers a hometown hero, drink.
-Every time some one claims Stratton as their hometown but is actually from Connecticut, pound a beer.

-Every time some one asks if you’re going to a Hayes Brothers’ party that night, drink.
-Every time its one of the Hayes brothers asking, pound a beer.

And with that said, make sure you have a D.D. for drive to the said party that evening, cause drinking and watching snowboarding is fun, but drinking and driving in Stratton will land you in jail.

We’re not going to the US Open so you can pound a beer for us on the first one. If any of the rest of these no longer apply, we’re sorry. Feel free to suggest better ones below.

  1. derek wales

    seriously the stupidest shit i have ever read.

  2. bob

    derek wales… drink!

  3. Thomas

    the parking lot scene was off-the-chain

  4. moi

    too bad dingo doesnt announce any more

  5. wish i had this 10 days ago. priceless… yobeat for the win.

  6. Andrius

    You will be plastered instantly with that list.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *