A Weekend at YoBeat’s Chicago Office

Now that Yobeat has grown into a multimillion dollar corporation and will soon be topping the Forbes 500 list, we’ve obviously had to expand. You’ve probably noticed our new intern popping up here and there, but we’ve also secured an office in the snowboard hotbed of Chicago. This weekend, while the underlings were covering a rail jam in Seattle, I hopped the private jet for liaison with Chicago’s top ad exec, Nick Lipton. We’re talking serious, high level executive shit here. JP-Walker-Hump-day, giant-ad-contract, Diamond-Donny-type business. Even though we’re charging things on our AmEx Black card these days, we haven’t forgotten about you, the little guy. In fact, we’ve decided to go where others dare not tread and fill you in on what really went down on the first annual Yobeat corporate retreat.


6:00 am. Nick meets me on the curb, fully dressed, still up from last night.

6:30 am.  I get some sleep. Nick reads a book by candlelight.

9:30 am. Nick tells me taking a shower is ridiculous.

11:03 am. Brunch. Nick has his first drink, a bloody mary, Chicago-style, which means including a lot of meat.

11:56 am. Couch shopping.

11:57 am. Nick realizes he hadn’t had a cig yet.

12:01 pm. Nick makes a joke at intern’s expense.

12:17 pm. Nick announces he is going to take a shit.

12:19 pm. After some prep, Nick actually commences taking a shit.

12:22 pm. Nick texts me to tell me how good it feels.

12:25 pm. Nick has his first cig.

12:56 pm. Strategy meeting.

1:05 pm. Nick tells me to text Burton marketing girl that he would possibly like to make sweet love to her.

1:15 pm. Nick tells me I’m weird.

1:59 pm. Go to return 4-day-old redbox DVDs, Nick smokes a cig.

2:15 pm. I decide to teach Nick how to coupon at the Jewel-Osco. Discover they have booze coupons in Chicago.

2:30 pm. Nick tells me I need a hobby.

2:37 pm. Purchase 1 30-pack of PBR for $9.99, thanks coupons!

3:05 pm. Drink first beer while watching Ross Capicchoni’s survival story

3:27 pm. Nick talks me into getting a tattoo. Walk across the street to make appointment for later.

3:29 pm. Nick smokes cig

3:36 pm. Nick notes usually he would still be sleeping on a Saturday

4:34 pm. More conceptualization. Talk a bunch of shit.

4:36 pm. Nick exclaims, “I’m a diva motherfucker!”

5:33 pm. Go back to get my tattoo.

7:11 pm. My tattoo almost complete, Nick decides he wants a tattoo. Settles for a cig

8:20 pm. Dinner.

8:30 pm. Nick tells me not to blog everything that happens tonight.

9:20 pm. Snowboard gear photo shoot.

10:45 pm. Top secret executive stuff


3:15 am. I find Nick passed out on a pile of snowboard clothes

9:55 am. Leave hilarious comments on snowboarding websites.

10:21 am. Commence hat test with a cig and bottomless bloody marys.

10:42 am. Editorial planning meeting. New idea: Yobeat personals. Target audience: nice, generous old men.

12:06 pm. Nick offers emotionally supportive device to a friend with possible cancer. “You can get a fake one.”

12:25 pm. Nick defeats me in a WWF grudge match at Best Buy

1:13 pm. Couch shopping

1:22 pm. Falafel stop at Sultans Market

1:55 pm. Watch SNL skits on hulu

2:08 pm. Commence actual product review filming

3:30 pm. Review first video. Nick realizes his own brilliance.

6:30 pm. Pizza.

7:15 pm. Super top secret mission to O’Hare international airport.

9:36 pm. Go to Nick’s cubicle to change for next test. Leo Burnett. 27th floor.

9:55 pm. Nick talks a man in $300 shoes into doing a kickflip.

10:39 pm. Beers at Rossi’s

12:28 am. Dinner. Old Style. Shots of Jameson.

1:58 am. Observe fight.

2:30 am. Realize there are 15 PBRs left.

3:00 am. Serious top level executive shit.

9:15 am. Nick wakes up. Goes to work.

  1. LURK

    liquor coupons?!?!

  2. I dunno if my day is better reading this, at least I know I got more done.

  3. only in wicker park…

  4. Fonzie

    YoBeat swagger on 1000000000. That 27th floor view is sick.

  5. ilkid

    represent chicago! there are some dope riders out of four lakes and raging buffalo

  6. mcnak

    This is Good. liquor coupons awesome.

  7. tmack

    fuck ya reppin the chi town. thats dank i didnt no u guys had an office here

  8. Now that is some executive shit. good shit too

  9. Piles

    chicago? top level execs? burton? yobeat to get into clandestine vermont-illinios liquor bootlegging?

  10. mikes

    yo lets beat off anon with both hands and put their logo in our logo…whats the brand blowing for?

  11. ryan

    That cat tat is fucking epic. When is the coupon getting ink’d on?

  12. free burberry

    I find it very fitting that Lipton works at Leo Burnett (the agency started by the branding genius who repositioned Marlboro as a masculine brand with the creation of the Marlboro Man) after all of the cig mentions. The picture of the bloody made my mouth water.

  13. Womp

    I wanna see Lipton come out and ride our hills this winter

  14. alberghini9

    whos dick are you guys sucking with all the PBR references, pictures and ads? did you guys get jealous of union?

  15. Nick Lipton

    Dear Womp,

    Shoot me an email. I’m trying to ride out here this Winter.


  16. I would have bet $100 it was impossible to take 10 straight pictures from Chicago without getting at least one fat person in ’em (Chicago is like one big urban fat camp IMO) but you guys did it. Brafuckingvo!

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