Stuff People Care About

Writing about snowboarding is fun and all, but let’s be honest, this time of year not even you really care about it. One of the few things I’ve learning running a website on this here Internet is if you want the hits, you gotta write about the shit people are interested in. But here in lies the problem. When writing about snowboarding, very little effort and research is required. You can just make shit up, add a bro, and you totally sound like an authority. When writing about real issues, people demand accuracy and facts, and frankly, I don’t have that kind of time. So today, I scoured the ‘net and found the most authoritative articles on the topics people are most interested in right now. After all, this is the Internet — originality is dead.

The Oil Spill

Get outraged! Oil is gushing into the Gulf of Mexico, and you are not behind that funny BPGlobalPR twitter with over 100k followers. But seriously, this is the worst environmental disaster ever in the US, and no one has any clue how to fix it. Make that almost no one. In fact, BroBOMB has offered up several legitimate and brilliant solutions to the crisis, such as:

Enlist some outerwear companies. From my Google-based research I’ve determined that ice and slush have thwarted just about every attempt to put a big metal condom on the pipe. Who makes more claims about resistance to slush and ice than outerwear companies? Make a giant neon tent dome out of your 2011 outerwear offerings and send that sucker down there. Think about the publicity!

Sounds like a solution and a tax deduction to me! Read all the two-planker’s ideas here.

iPads

ipadcase-supplies

The numbers are in, and people seem to be buying up the latest Apple device as eagerly as expected. If the media wants to capitalize on the hype, better start developing some some of paid iPad app now! Well, we don’t have that sort of budget here at YoBeat  (also, pretty sure the iPad is a fad just like the Internet) so instead we offer this post from Jared about how to protect your iPad and save magazines for under $10.

I started the process by opening up the magazine. I suggest roughly half-way open, allowing for optimum impact resistance on both sides of the device. I like to choose an editorial spread, so there’s no chance I’ll accidentally click on one of the ads. Breathe. Next step. Here’s where it gets risky. Slide your iPad into the magazine, being EXTREMELY careful to avoid paper cuts. Once you’ve got it positioned adequately, close the pages. Be sure to note which page you left your iPad on. It will help you find it later.

Visit Jared’s blog for a complete list of materials and the rest of the steps in the detailed process.

Shaun White

shaun-white-fan-art

I know no one cares about snowboarding, but Shaun White is a celebrity now, and what do the people care about more than environmental crisis’s and new technology? You got it: celebrities. I’m sure someone has the scoop on which rap album got leaked or who’s getting divorced, but Illicit Snowboarding got the latest on the Tomato Animal. That’s right, seems folks have taken to drawing his likeness in all sorts of strange ways. Our personal favorite:

Shaun White – fucking hates helmets

See more of these remarkably disturbing art pieces here.

And with that, we fully intend to bump up our Google rank and triple our traffic. Sorry if you came here looking for the scoop on the latest flip-rail combo, midwest shred superstar, or how to get sponsored, perhaps tomorrow we’ll discuss those topics.

  1. Wow. The Shaun White art is hilarious and scary.

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