Writing – Photos – Travel – Crafts

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Read the review on wweek.com

Because I really enjoy seeing if clueless PR people will come through on their promises, here’s some completely irrelevant info for the people who came here 1) looking to get their Instagram unblocked or 2) that think I’m funny/interesting (there are way more of #1.) I believe this EXCITING info I received today was  aimed at Yobeat, but whatever.

I work for a company called The Collectionary.  We are building the best place to go on the internet to find and buy items for avid collectors.

One of the Collectionary’s we have is for NASCAR!

http://thecollectionary.com/club/nascar

We would love to feature your blog on our NASCAR Facebook page with over 127,000 fans .  In return we would like to have a link to our NASCAR Collectionary on your blog.

We think that your blog offers great content and something our NASCAR fans would love reading about.  We also think that the readers of your blog would enjoy seeing some of the great NASCAR items in The Collectionary.

I would love to hear your feedback about this idea.  I’ve attached our logo, if you can add this to your page with the link to – http://thecollectionary.com/club/nascar – it would be greatly appreciated and we will post about your blog.

Can’t wait for the Brookegeery.com feature on their Facebook!

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So I scored myself a VIP wristband to Musicfest Northwest this week in Portland. (Obligatory thanks to Aaron at Red Bull here- follow him on twitter @RedbullPDX.) I guess this would be our version of South by Southwest, ya know, kind of a big deal if you’re into that whole music thing. I mean, I have zero interest in music and I wanted to go. Of course, it probably helped that Jared told me my all time favorite band of all time Saves the Day was playing too.

I’m going to blog about it, but like I said – I normally don’t go to shows. It’s not that I don’t like music, it’s just that I like quiet music better. And if I do go to a show, I have very strict rules for going. 1, I must be on the list, 2) there must be a bar and 3) a place to sit. Ideally the show will be over by 11pm. (You can blame it on my age, but I’ve actually had these rules since 23 or so.)

But like I said. I have this wristband and it looks like I will have to relax a few of the rules and go to some shows. It would be a gigantic waste not to, because apparently this baby lets me skip the line at any show (except for Nike shows – hook me up doods!) I’m gonna feel so cool sauntering into that Saves the Day show past all the 15 year olds waiting, ya know.

Now  here’s the bad news, I checked the schedule and I’ve heard of 1% of the bands playing (also a lot of the shows go late.) That said, I’ve planned out my schedule based on bands that were the most popular when I was in college (i.e. around) and one or two “new bands” that I might like to see.  It’s looking like this:

Tonight, September, 4: Deerhunter (who I’ve mistakenly called Deerhoof and almost just typed Death Cab for Cutie so as you can tell I’m REALLY into them.)
Tomorrow night, Sept 5: Fred Armisten at Crystal AND THEN John Vanderslice and Bob Mould at Doug Fir.
Friday night: SAVES THE DAY. I’ll be the 32 year old camping next to the Hawthorne theater all day!
Saturday: I have no idea.
Sunday: Maybe I will go see Neko Case (who I’ve heard of!) but outdoor concerts? Well, we’ll see.

I will then report on my experience for all three of the people who have probably made it this far into this blog. And hey, you guys still reading, do you know any good bands I should go see this week?

In one of our more-brilliant recent efforts at doing relevant snowboard content is our latest video (series?) The Snowboard Dating Game. Stan is your host, while Timbro has to select a snowboard based only on information (most of which got cut out to make it short enough for the Internet’s attention span.) The rest is made even more awkward with sensual music. Enjoy.

Every so often I get an email directed to this site. Apparently the general interest nature of it makes my plethora of traffic interesting to all sorts of different markets. Normally I just ignore them, But this email that came today was so amusing (to me), I decided it was worth posting:

My name is Mike and I thought you would be interested in this video on Driving Under the Influence.

It is a very informative video that I believe is worth sharing. I was hoping you would consider sharing this with the viewers of your website. If you like, we could write a short blurb to go along with the video.

Due to Google’s rules, we cannot pay for links. We also do not have a budget for advertising. We feel this is a video your viewers would truly enjoy and also would be great for your website.

So here’s what I’m asking to sum it all up:
You mention the video or post it on your site and we benefit from that
You benefit from getting content for your site to drive traffic, gain authority, and get people talking on your site
We share your site socially and if you have content you are trying to get out there we can help you
If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to let me know.

Well Mike, I’m feeling generous, and I appreciate your honesty. Though I hate to break it to you this post is unlikely to bring you any business. Anyway the hand drawing time lapses in the video are kinda neat and I’m ALWAYS looking to gain authority. Thanks guys!

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Recently I posted the ultimate instagram. You may have seen it if you’re one of my over 500 followers, but if not, check your feed now! You’re not following me? Jesus it’s @brookegeery. Anyway, it’s the same photo as above, but you’ll need to see it on Instagram to grasp the amazing filtering choice I made (this one was edited in boring old Photoshop.) I know this is the best instagram ever because I can see how many people like it (the ultimate sign of success) and at press time it had upwards of 12 likes. Because of that, I decided a making of the ‘gram post was in order so that when people start trying to find more info about the photo, it’s ready.

So while this moment may look totally natural, the truth is it took a few tries. Wrangling two puppies (6 months and 7 weeks) to pose and look adorable together turned out to be quite the challenge.

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Lemmy was hard to get in focus, and Belle couldn’t have cared less.

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Then Lemmy was like, this is stupid, and tried to leave.

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This one actually turned out pretty cute. But I wanted them both looking at the camera, dammit.

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Lemmy broke the cardinal rule of action photography – no butt shots.

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We finally figured out the stairs were the ultimate set, but Belle was over it.

Luckily she weighs under two pounds, so it was pretty easy to put her on the second stair, where she wasn’t able to move, Lemmy has gotten so over it that he was just chilling on the stair below, I whistled and magic happened. This photo now as 19 likes and a comment, so it’s pretty safe to say it’s going viral.

Sometimes Internet comments hurt. Not these though! Thanks spammers.

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I’ve been neglecting this blog for all this time. As the “queen of Internet snowboarding” I really should be trying harder to keep my social presence up, but I heard blogging is dead. I mean, follow me on Instagram, Twitter, Vine, Snapchat and if you want we can play Words with Friends.

Anyway, I’ve been so busy trying to promote Yobeat with all this social networks that I’ve been finding it hard to create content. You probably haven’t noticed, I can post videos with my eyes closed these days, and I’ve had Stan doing stuff. But just so you know, I have been on Auto pilot for months.

I think I just got motivated though, so while I might not do much on this site because I am highly convinced no one cares about my day to day existence (miss you livejournal!), and blogging about social media sounds highly uninteresting to humans, I’m gonna blog about Food carts. There are so damn many in Portland that I can probably keep myself and my 4 readers entertained for months.

Oh and if you’re somehow on this site because your instagram account got blocked I CAN’T HELP YOU.

Every so often, I write something offensive. Something that’s just mean, or uncalled for, or whatever. This was not one of those times. No, this time I wrote a review of a children’s book about snowboarding formatted as a third-grade book report and purposely written to sound that way. Well, the publishers of said book apparently didn’t like my review. Rather than just ignoring it, which would have been the appropriate response, they sent me the following email:

Hello Brooke Geery,

I am a legal representative for the Adventure Zoo Crew. Recently we found that you wrote a very dishonest article on one of our books “Sammy the Shredder”.

Not only was your story poorly written, but its obvious you have yet to be sued for defamation of character, calumny, slander, aspersion, or obloquy. We don’t mind internet trolls, but when you blatantly lie, “Also, Sammy’s big bro seemed like kind of a jerk making Sammy hit boxes and ride tree lines on his first day boarding.” that is seriously a cause for concern.

This email is to notify you that your story must be taken down immediately! Once this story is taken down, we will need a “retraction” for your lies.

Please know our attorney’s take this very seriously. If this story is not taken down, and your retraction is not received, we will be pursuing any/all legal measures. Also, we will be notifying ANY company that sponsors or is affiliated with your site (YoBeat) as they are now an accessory to Slander, Libel, Calumny, Vilification, and/or Defamation of Character. Every day this story is on your site, more and more damages occur. It has now been up for over 3 days.

Lastly, we don’t want to be affiliated with you, or a site like yours, we like positive things and positive people. We are a family business. We look forward to your retraction and putting this unfortunate incident behind us.

Thank You,
P.J. Glen (AZC Legal)

While I applaud their ability to use wikipedia and find big words to try and scare me, my own semester of press law (and ya know, logic) makes it pretty clear this is a load of crap. And what the fuck does “legal representative” mean? Anyway, I wrote back:

I’m sorry you did not like the story. It was not meant to offend, in fact, Yobeat is a highly sarcastic site that makes fun of everything and anything having to do with snowboarding. But since you don’t seem to be very familiar with “defamation of character, calumny, slander, aspersion, or obloquy” allow me to explain how it works. First I would have to post an actual untruth. “Also, Sammy’s big bro seemed like kind of a jerk making Sammy hit boxes and ride tree lines on his first day boarding” is actually an opinion statement, not a blatant lie. Even if it was a lie, you would then have to show intent to harm, which judging by the link to download the book at the end of the article, I’m thinking you might have some trouble doing.

So, instead of threatening legal action, perhaps you should appreciate the free publicity (and considering I PAID for the book, the sale) and realize that your book just got mentioned on one of the most trafficked snowboarding sites on the web, with many readers who are parents and may very well be interested in purchasing this book.

However, I will definitely take this into consideration before ever bothering to mention Adventure Zoo Crew again. Don’t worry, it won’t happen.

Now again, you’d think they could just leave well enough alone, but no, I got yet another email.

Ms. Geery,

That is just one falsity in your story. Its unfortunate you have put your pride before your business sense.

Maybe you should speak to a lawyer before you try to act like you know the law? But that is up to you. I don’t know you or your site, but I am happy to hear it is very popular as this will strongly affect the amount of damages you have caused and continue to cause. This actually works better for us! Thank you.

Again, we’ve tried to handle this amicably. I assure you we will vigorously defend ourselves.

We will wait to see if your article is taken down today, if not then we will let your sponsors and the courts decide.

Best,
PJ Glen
AdventureZooCrewLEGAL@gmail.com

Believe it or not, this was getting a little old. Now I could have pointed out that they would be the plaintiff in this case, not the defendant. Or I could have pointed out that personal attacks are hardly “handling this amicably” but instead I just said fuck it and took the post down. Problem solved, right? Wrong.

Ms. Geery,

Since the article was seen by as many people as you have claimed “your book just got mentioned on one of the most trafficked snowboarding sites on the web, with many readers who are parents and may very well be interested in purchasing this book” we are sure there have been damages caused by your biased article. Its obvious by the comments below, you have damaged AZC, and intentionally stopped individuals from purchasing our product.

Now that this article has been removed, we will need your a written retraction. Once received, we can than decide if we can put this incident behind us.

We expect your “written” retraction within (7) days.

Please send your retraction too…

ATTN: PJ
P.O. Box 1062
Acton, CA 93510
United States

Best,
PJ Glen

Wow guys. I’m really not sure what value, if any, me sending a retraction to some PO box would do, so instead I figured I’d dial up Yobeat’s legal counsel. He pointed out a few more things I hadn’t even thought of.

1. It’s illegal to represent yourself as a lawyer if you are not one. And if our friend PJ is actually a lawyer, that’s just a scary statement on the California legal system.
2. They are in California and I am in Oregon, making this a federal case. You guys are gonna sue me in Federal Court?
3. It’s called the first amendment.

So, as you an expect, the post is back up and will soon be pushed into Internet oblivion. As for Adventure Zoo Crew. Well, they’ll be receiving a letter from my lawyer any day now.

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I recently did a little stint at a big corporation. For the sake of keeping it tight, I won’t say who it was. Anyway, one of the big “initiatives” was gaining Facebook likes. Having a lot of fans, after all, greatly increases your ability to spam them with your messages. Anyway, all sorts of different methods were used, from advertising, to posting quality content, to actually responding to people. And it worked, they got lots of likes.

But ever since last week’s Kitchen Nightmares seemingly ruined any chance of Amy’s Baking Company succeeding, the impending facebook melt down and ultimate social media faux pas has been quite entertaining. But you know, life can’t be all fun and games, so what serious lessons can we learn from this.

1. They went from 200 fans to 50k over night. So those pesky buggers are not always a good thing.

2. In the short term, a whole lot of people now know about some random restaurant in Scottsdale, and while it may seem horrible, people love to visit places they’ve heard about!

3. Nah fuck it, lets all just laugh at Facebook.

And don’t feel bad for them, maybe they’re marketing geniuses. Or FOX is behind the “hack.”