Writing – Photos – Travel – Crafts

If you know me, you know I love Tinder. It’s more than a dating app, it’s a hobby and a money maker (seriously!) My young protege Dickie Sweet put together this short epic with more.

Since leaving the house is hard and rarely very rewarding, I’ve taken up the hobby of pet photography. It also helps that we have a pretty solid heard or creatures. So far the cats and the dog have their own instagrams, and it’s only a matter of time before the chickens do as well (though I should leave that one up to Jared.) Anyway, if you love adorable things follow @willisandtyra and @thelemmygram for more photos like this, plus occasionally witty captions.

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Because I really enjoy seeing if clueless PR people will come through on their promises, here’s some completely irrelevant info for the people who came here 1) looking to get their Instagram unblocked or 2) that think I’m funny/interesting (there are way more of #1.) I believe this EXCITING info I received today was  aimed at Yobeat, but whatever.

I work for a company called The Collectionary.  We are building the best place to go on the internet to find and buy items for avid collectors.

One of the Collectionary’s we have is for NASCAR!

http://thecollectionary.com/club/nascar

We would love to feature your blog on our NASCAR Facebook page with over 127,000 fans .  In return we would like to have a link to our NASCAR Collectionary on your blog.

We think that your blog offers great content and something our NASCAR fans would love reading about.  We also think that the readers of your blog would enjoy seeing some of the great NASCAR items in The Collectionary.

I would love to hear your feedback about this idea.  I’ve attached our logo, if you can add this to your page with the link to – http://thecollectionary.com/club/nascar – it would be greatly appreciated and we will post about your blog.

Can’t wait for the Brookegeery.com feature on their Facebook!

While I’m admitting to being old and falling asleep at shows, I should also note I once feel asleep in the front row on an emo show. It was my friends’ band, formerly Hijack the Disco, now known as HIJK, because Panic! at the Disco issued them a cease a desist. Anyway, I had gone to a wedding reception prior, been drinking all day, and as soon as I sat down (even in the FRONT ROW) I just nodded off. It was a small show, so obviously the band was aware of my absurd behavior, and proceeded to throw my name into songs to try and wake me up. It didn’t work.

That said, I have NEVER slept through a Saves the Day show. It’s hard to sleep when you’re bouncing up and down and punching the air, ya know. I love Saves the Day and when I heard they were playing Musicfest Northwest, it was the only reason I secured a wrist band.

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However, Saves the Day did not take the stage at the Hawthorne Theater until 10:30, which had I sat at home waiting for, I would have been dead on the coach before it started. Instead I figured we might as well take advantage of our VIP access and go check out the big show in Pioneer Square — Animal Collective. Figuring I’d heard of them, and any “alternative” band that managed to penetrate my brainspace must have at least one hit I would like, we headed across the bridge to check it out. Apparently, Animal Collective is like some hipster Phish that just plays long stints of noise with banging and stuff. I made it through three “songs” before deciding a drink at a bar sounded a little more pleasurable.

We got to the Hawthorne Theater a little before 10 and the opening band, Into It. Over it, was still on stage. Jared had informed me I would probably like them, because they’re “emo” and had I been in college, I probably would have. But realistically, the reason I like Saves the Day isn’t because that sound still gets me going, it’s because it reminds me of being 19 driving around in So Cal, or being in college in Bellingham. And I know all the words.

It seems I am not the only on either. Granted, it wasn’t a huge crowd, but you could describe the pit as “frothing” any time they played a classic from Through Being Cool. And much like myself, any time they played new songs, the crowd mellowed a bit. But the show was long and I stayed awake, a true testament to the fact that I just need epic entertainment.

And as if that wasn’t enough, here’s me after the show, just hanging out with Chris Conley (read: nerdily asking if I could get a picture with him.)

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Long before deciding that attending Musicfest Northwest sounded like a good idea, I once fell asleep at a Dinosaur Jr. concert. Everyone seemed amazed that I was able to sleep through the incredibly loud music, but with a little bit of vodka, it just sounded like white noise to me. And I can honestly sleep anywhere. So it should come as no surprise that I also nodded off at the Bob Mould show last night. This time though, I’m saying it was far less pathetic.

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My people!

First of all, we went to another show first. Fred Armisen at the Crystal Ballroom. If I was really choosing my shows by venue, I would have skipped this one. This place is too big, set up weird, and there are not NEARLY enough seats. But Jared wanted to go, and while I had very little idea of what to expect, it seemed like it had entertainment potential.

The set started with Armisen’s faux British persona Ian Rubbish, which was kinda funny, though I was concerned about how I would sit through an hour and a half of fake accents and British jokes. Luckily, it was short lived before he brought out Bob Mould! That’s right, the very Bob Mould that Jared wanted to see next. Part of me got a little excited that I wouldn’t have to stay up through another show, but when he only played one song (which happened to be a Husker Du song I knew the words to) I realized we’d probably still be going to Doug Fir next.

After Bob Mould, ol’ Fred did some music-inspired stand up as a lead in to the chick from Six Pence None the Richer coming out and doing a song. At first I was excited thinking it was the Dawson’s Creek theme song, but as it turns out that’s a different song. Anyway, totally knew the words to “Kiss Me,” so that was cool. The set then turned into showing some rejected Portlandlandia skits and we decided it was time to move on.

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Maybe I should have brought a better camera than an iPhone.

We showed up at Doug Fir in time to catch the end of John Vanderslice’s set. I think he’d made my initial list partially because of convenience and also because I got a promo CD once so I felt like I’d heard of him. However, I knew none of his songs, and found myself starting to fade.

The good news is, the crowd at Bob Mould was a bunch of old people (as to be expected for someone who’s heyday was the early 90s) so they likely don’t give a fuck anymore. I made it a couple songs before the log bench I’d found to sit on became a nice place to lean back and relax. You can probably see where I’m going here, so needless to say, don’t have much to say about the show. Jared was nice enough to wake me up to leave before I awkwardly fell onto the floor or anything, bring me home and drop me off. Then he headed back out to Dante’s to see some other band I’ve never heard of, so good for him! Glad one of us is making the most of these wristbands.

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Recently I posted the ultimate instagram. You may have seen it if you’re one of my over 500 followers, but if not, check your feed now! You’re not following me? Jesus it’s @brookegeery. Anyway, it’s the same photo as above, but you’ll need to see it on Instagram to grasp the amazing filtering choice I made (this one was edited in boring old Photoshop.) I know this is the best instagram ever because I can see how many people like it (the ultimate sign of success) and at press time it had upwards of 12 likes. Because of that, I decided a making of the ‘gram post was in order so that when people start trying to find more info about the photo, it’s ready.

So while this moment may look totally natural, the truth is it took a few tries. Wrangling two puppies (6 months and 7 weeks) to pose and look adorable together turned out to be quite the challenge.

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Lemmy was hard to get in focus, and Belle couldn’t have cared less.

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Then Lemmy was like, this is stupid, and tried to leave.

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This one actually turned out pretty cute. But I wanted them both looking at the camera, dammit.

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Lemmy broke the cardinal rule of action photography – no butt shots.

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We finally figured out the stairs were the ultimate set, but Belle was over it.

Luckily she weighs under two pounds, so it was pretty easy to put her on the second stair, where she wasn’t able to move, Lemmy has gotten so over it that he was just chilling on the stair below, I whistled and magic happened. This photo now as 19 likes and a comment, so it’s pretty safe to say it’s going viral.

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So you may have guessed I got bored with trying to eat lunch on Hawthorne every day. It was expensive, we ran out of restaurants we weren’t specifically avoiding, and oh yeah, I moved my office to felony flats. Well, technically we’ve rebranded it the “Flavel Arts District” hoping it’ll catch on like Alberta did, but apparently white trash people are harder to gentrify. Anyway!

I was just in a heated debate with Stan about our two nearest Food Cart pod locations (actually it wasn’t heated at all, we agreed) and realized, I could start food blogging again, but about cart pods. I’m way better at keeping these things going when I have some sort of structure (or it’ll at least give me entertainment for the next couple weeks until Winter starts.

So get hyped! I’ve got thoughts.

I’ve been neglecting this blog for all this time. As the “queen of Internet snowboarding” I really should be trying harder to keep my social presence up, but I heard blogging is dead. I mean, follow me on Instagram, Twitter, Vine, Snapchat and if you want we can play Words with Friends.

Anyway, I’ve been so busy trying to promote Yobeat with all this social networks that I’ve been finding it hard to create content. You probably haven’t noticed, I can post videos with my eyes closed these days, and I’ve had Stan doing stuff. But just so you know, I have been on Auto pilot for months.

I think I just got motivated though, so while I might not do much on this site because I am highly convinced no one cares about my day to day existence (miss you livejournal!), and blogging about social media sounds highly uninteresting to humans, I’m gonna blog about Food carts. There are so damn many in Portland that I can probably keep myself and my 4 readers entertained for months.

Oh and if you’re somehow on this site because your instagram account got blocked I CAN’T HELP YOU.

Every so often, I write something offensive. Something that’s just mean, or uncalled for, or whatever. This was not one of those times. No, this time I wrote a review of a children’s book about snowboarding formatted as a third-grade book report and purposely written to sound that way. Well, the publishers of said book apparently didn’t like my review. Rather than just ignoring it, which would have been the appropriate response, they sent me the following email:

Hello Brooke Geery,

I am a legal representative for the Adventure Zoo Crew. Recently we found that you wrote a very dishonest article on one of our books “Sammy the Shredder”.

Not only was your story poorly written, but its obvious you have yet to be sued for defamation of character, calumny, slander, aspersion, or obloquy. We don’t mind internet trolls, but when you blatantly lie, “Also, Sammy’s big bro seemed like kind of a jerk making Sammy hit boxes and ride tree lines on his first day boarding.” that is seriously a cause for concern.

This email is to notify you that your story must be taken down immediately! Once this story is taken down, we will need a “retraction” for your lies.

Please know our attorney’s take this very seriously. If this story is not taken down, and your retraction is not received, we will be pursuing any/all legal measures. Also, we will be notifying ANY company that sponsors or is affiliated with your site (YoBeat) as they are now an accessory to Slander, Libel, Calumny, Vilification, and/or Defamation of Character. Every day this story is on your site, more and more damages occur. It has now been up for over 3 days.

Lastly, we don’t want to be affiliated with you, or a site like yours, we like positive things and positive people. We are a family business. We look forward to your retraction and putting this unfortunate incident behind us.

Thank You,
P.J. Glen (AZC Legal)

While I applaud their ability to use wikipedia and find big words to try and scare me, my own semester of press law (and ya know, logic) makes it pretty clear this is a load of crap. And what the fuck does “legal representative” mean? Anyway, I wrote back:

I’m sorry you did not like the story. It was not meant to offend, in fact, Yobeat is a highly sarcastic site that makes fun of everything and anything having to do with snowboarding. But since you don’t seem to be very familiar with “defamation of character, calumny, slander, aspersion, or obloquy” allow me to explain how it works. First I would have to post an actual untruth. “Also, Sammy’s big bro seemed like kind of a jerk making Sammy hit boxes and ride tree lines on his first day boarding” is actually an opinion statement, not a blatant lie. Even if it was a lie, you would then have to show intent to harm, which judging by the link to download the book at the end of the article, I’m thinking you might have some trouble doing.

So, instead of threatening legal action, perhaps you should appreciate the free publicity (and considering I PAID for the book, the sale) and realize that your book just got mentioned on one of the most trafficked snowboarding sites on the web, with many readers who are parents and may very well be interested in purchasing this book.

However, I will definitely take this into consideration before ever bothering to mention Adventure Zoo Crew again. Don’t worry, it won’t happen.

Now again, you’d think they could just leave well enough alone, but no, I got yet another email.

Ms. Geery,

That is just one falsity in your story. Its unfortunate you have put your pride before your business sense.

Maybe you should speak to a lawyer before you try to act like you know the law? But that is up to you. I don’t know you or your site, but I am happy to hear it is very popular as this will strongly affect the amount of damages you have caused and continue to cause. This actually works better for us! Thank you.

Again, we’ve tried to handle this amicably. I assure you we will vigorously defend ourselves.

We will wait to see if your article is taken down today, if not then we will let your sponsors and the courts decide.

Best,
PJ Glen
AdventureZooCrewLEGAL@gmail.com

Believe it or not, this was getting a little old. Now I could have pointed out that they would be the plaintiff in this case, not the defendant. Or I could have pointed out that personal attacks are hardly “handling this amicably” but instead I just said fuck it and took the post down. Problem solved, right? Wrong.

Ms. Geery,

Since the article was seen by as many people as you have claimed “your book just got mentioned on one of the most trafficked snowboarding sites on the web, with many readers who are parents and may very well be interested in purchasing this book” we are sure there have been damages caused by your biased article. Its obvious by the comments below, you have damaged AZC, and intentionally stopped individuals from purchasing our product.

Now that this article has been removed, we will need your a written retraction. Once received, we can than decide if we can put this incident behind us.

We expect your “written” retraction within (7) days.

Please send your retraction too…

ATTN: PJ
P.O. Box 1062
Acton, CA 93510
United States

Best,
PJ Glen

Wow guys. I’m really not sure what value, if any, me sending a retraction to some PO box would do, so instead I figured I’d dial up Yobeat’s legal counsel. He pointed out a few more things I hadn’t even thought of.

1. It’s illegal to represent yourself as a lawyer if you are not one. And if our friend PJ is actually a lawyer, that’s just a scary statement on the California legal system.
2. They are in California and I am in Oregon, making this a federal case. You guys are gonna sue me in Federal Court?
3. It’s called the first amendment.

So, as you an expect, the post is back up and will soon be pushed into Internet oblivion. As for Adventure Zoo Crew. Well, they’ll be receiving a letter from my lawyer any day now.

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I recently did a little stint at a big corporation. For the sake of keeping it tight, I won’t say who it was. Anyway, one of the big “initiatives” was gaining Facebook likes. Having a lot of fans, after all, greatly increases your ability to spam them with your messages. Anyway, all sorts of different methods were used, from advertising, to posting quality content, to actually responding to people. And it worked, they got lots of likes.

But ever since last week’s Kitchen Nightmares seemingly ruined any chance of Amy’s Baking Company succeeding, the impending facebook melt down and ultimate social media faux pas has been quite entertaining. But you know, life can’t be all fun and games, so what serious lessons can we learn from this.

1. They went from 200 fans to 50k over night. So those pesky buggers are not always a good thing.

2. In the short term, a whole lot of people now know about some random restaurant in Scottsdale, and while it may seem horrible, people love to visit places they’ve heard about!

3. Nah fuck it, lets all just laugh at Facebook.

And don’t feel bad for them, maybe they’re marketing geniuses. Or FOX is behind the “hack.”